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Having overdosed on stories of overnight internet sensations, Dweeb put great store in viral marketing. Even though there were no soppy wedding footage clips, cute kittens or Britney Spears impersonators anywhere to be found in the material he submitted to Youtube.
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Ever since my inception I was plagued by horrible nightmares. For example refer to the weird and confusing white blood cell hallucination in “Deuce it!” Yes I definitely felt That I wasn’t really me … Cue the “through the window music” as the next conveniently filmed pound stretcher video moment attempts to demonstrate my identity crisis …
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Then there was the producer Hasbeen. Dweeb was being more nauseating than usual in attempt to be particularly deferential “Obviously I feel that any criticisms you may have would be gratefully received. Up to a point.” Hasbeen was less deferential “He’s crap.” “Yes I think we’ve passed the point now.” Came Dweeb’s speedy response.
Hasbeen with the refreshing honesty and lack of formality common with those found on the Southern hemisphere explained his reservations “He’s bland, he’s old hat, the kids will never respond to him.”
Dweeb felt at this point it was worth pointing out certain ironies with regards to Hasbeen’s critique This of course is coming from a fifty year old man deeply in touch with today’s youth. What pray tell do you know about kids?”
Foolishly Hasbeen made an attempt at humour entirely out of place since operation Ewe Tree, “Well I’ve had a few.” Anyway after various implausible attempts at blackmail, regarding Hasbeen’s predilection with oddly shaped vegetables featured on 70′s light entertainment programmes and other disturbing novelty acts, such as “Bob the Tray” and eventually offering … Some money, Hasbeen set about radically altering the style of my music. Responding to the continually changing trends that were all the rage in the pop charts at that time. Ultimately ending up with … Seventies Disco retroUptown Blues
But all his considerable efforts just weren’t enough. So instead he held a casting audition and paired me with his linguistically challenged, young and reasonable attractive secretary and some other additional talentless numpties. Now we knew we had a hit.
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Before his exit from our story Has been and Dweeb had several discussions regarding the name of the ill-fated project. Finally disagreeing on “Missed Take.” Which Hasbeen thought an hilarious in joke on the somewhat lacklustre performance record of the new lead singer of the group promoted from inefficient office girl to talentless front girl.
As Dweeb punched the information into the recalcitrant device he paused before pressing Enter which would communicate the promotional material all around the world. Wondering if this action was entirely wise and going with his gut feeling to ignore all such voices of enlightenment that occasionally made a passing trip to his head he tapped the key.
He looked down and to his horror noticed the absence of three characters In the name. As was obvious to anyone reading this the computer had sent out the name Mistake, by mistake. He began bellowing at the device.
Computer it says “Mistake”
“Yes, I thought that was the name you wanted.”
Dweeb replied tersely “No I put Missed Take.”
After a pause whilst the computer attempted to consider this answer. It responded cheerfully “Oh I thought that was a mistake I assumed you meant Mistake.” With this Dweeb reacted in a slightly hysterical tone “It’s gone out all over the web”
Seemingly unaware of the implications and in an oddly smug tone it replied “Yes you told me to do that.”
Dweeb continued “… and on all the publicity material.”
In it’s now extremely irritating sanguine manner “That’s true.”
This was too much for Dweeb and he shouted at the poor electronic minion “How can you possibly justify such total incompetence?”
Unfazed the device rattled off an explanation which it felt would adequately explain this and further errors of operation common to many electronic appliances around the world “I was manufactured in China by very poorly paid workers for maximum profit.”
With that Dweeb seemed satisfied and thus Mistake was born.