(Degraded data file 00001a excerpt print out)
An eerie light permeated from the equipment in the corner and a light flickered across another conveniently placed peripheral and the voice ready to record on the next Xfactor judges single piped in “Creation Pod Three here. Your hideous retro fusion Never Has been success is fully generated. Enjoy.”

I’m not quite sure how this maladjusted word processor with delusions of grandeur acquired sarcasm. Must have been programmed that way!

An impudent and unsolicited doom laden Chord echoed around the laboratory until Dweeb tapped in an instruction on the computer keyboard to tell it to “Shut Up” and then smiling in a disturbingly deviant manner at his pop monstrosity Dweeb stated portentously “Now our work begins.” Don’t know what he meant about “Our” I don’t remember being consulted about any of this.

Anyway after a suitable pause Professor Dweeb plugged my brain into the computer. My body remained motionless, partly because I was standing on a tiny podium and more specifically to annoy Dweeb. He then began tapping in commands furiously in order to establish if I could actually do anything. Moving over to my posing plinth he studied me carefully and then speaking into a very little microphone he started yelling commands at me.

He could’ve just typed the bloody instructions but he seemed to think this was cool.