I don’t recall much about the early days…

 

 

(Degraded data from main frame memory retrieved in print out form)

Dweeb stood in front of a huge screen whilst a video collage of unremarkable recording artists fizzed away. The over emphasised snarl of ex-Brit pop frontmen fused with the swaggering self-aggrandisement common with various walking penile extensions in the guise of machismo driven rappers. Meanwhile pseudo nymph like little girls galumphed unconvincingly to the strains of the auto tune. Yes Professor Dweeb was studying Channel Four Music again.All the while he thumbed through a collection of late Seventies German teen magazines with various pallid looking techno groups on the front covers.In the background the fetid beat of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep was playing. The Tad Wad Dwibble remix obviously, not the Nineteen Seventies original, that would just be uncool.

Professor Dweeb … was not a happy man

 

 

Professor Dweeb had not set his heart on becoming a star himself. He had the good sense to realise that apart from his sartorial deficiencies and halitosis he knew that the real money was to be made by the manager. When I say manager I mean the parasitic Svengali meaning of the word rather than Peter Grant.However Svengalis usually require some understanding of tapping into the current zeitgeist, however ludicrous, but due to his frightening penchant for late seventies disco and early eighties fashion he was about to create an unfortunate retro hybrid monster. A monster that is forever after to be known as D-roid.But before One could ponder the ultimate result the computer butted in again with the ominous warning  and before I could take my first breath I found myself thrust into the studio …